blue stilton = porn for mice








.









oops sorry wrong thread,thats a cheesy joke.

.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.......then it dawned on me!!!

A lady goes golfing on a posh golf course in the US.

While golfing she gets stung by a mosquito to which she is greatly irritated by after paying so much to play. The bite itches so bad that she gets into her golf cart and goes back to the clubhouse to demand her money back. How dare some grounds keeper to have overwatered enough for mosquitoes to bread on this course.

The lady arrives at the club house and tells the golf pro at the office that she would like her money back per being bitten by a mosquito on the course.

The pro asks where she got bit. To which she replies between the 1st and 2nd hole.

The pro responds, "I see the problem already",

"You need to close up your legs in your stance to keep from being bit there."

As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto for San Jose de los Platanos, and prayed for the healthy delivery of his first child, he heard a disembodied voice say, "Your daughter will be born 17 inches long,"

To which Reynoldo replied, "Do you know the weight, too, San Jose?

Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match.
They want to catch him before he strikes again.

They asked why I was moving to France, so I told them I had nothing Toulouse.

you've gotta get a life Kev...but you're keeping me laughing...

like the Toulouse one 'specially...

A mother skunk gave birth to twins, whom she named In and Out.

One day In was out, so she aked Out,"Out go out and find In, In's out and I want him in, I've been looking for In outside for ages, I can't find In, he is out so go out find In and bring him in."

"What?" said Out.

"In's out, so Out go out find In and bring him In, I've been looking for ages and can't find In, I want In in, Out go out and bring In in, if you can find him."

So Out goes out to look for his brother In, and within seconds of leaving, he comes back with In in tow, and his mother asks "Out, how did you find In so quickly?"

(here it comes....)

"In stinkt."

The jockey was riding the favourite at a race meeting, and was well ahead of the field.
His horse rounded the final corner, when suddenly the jockey was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.
He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence.
With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second.
He immediately went to the race stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered.

probably something to butter you up with, wouldnt want to leave you sour.
personally i would whip the lot of em, they make my blood curdle.

I con-curd with your suggested action and we must give this our unfeta'd attention!

yoghurt be joking? thought you would milk it some more?

speaking of boomarangs, reminds me of the irish boomarangs, they never come/go back, they just sing alot, about doing so.