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Steve Redgrave  Joined: 1/12/2007 Posts: 8,177 Location: isle of man  
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blue stilton = porn for mice . oops sorry wrong thread,thats a cheesy joke. . .
Well behaved women do not make history
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Alex Murphy  Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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“Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.” ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.......then it dawned on me!!! ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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A man walks into a store that offers American flags for sale and says to the guy behind the counter, "I'd like to purchase a green American flag." The clerk, somewhat dumbfounded, replies, "Sir, the American flag only comes in Red, White and Blue." The man thinks about this for a second and says, "Alright, I'll take a blue one." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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A lady goes golfing on a posh golf course in the US. While golfing she gets stung by a mosquito to which she is greatly irritated by after paying so much to play. The bite itches so bad that she gets into her golf cart and goes back to the clubhouse to demand her money back. How dare some grounds keeper to have overwatered enough for mosquitoes to bread on this course. The lady arrives at the club house and tells the golf pro at the office that she would like her money back per being bitten by a mosquito on the course. The pro asks where she got bit. To which she replies between the 1st and 2nd hole. The pro responds, "I see the problem already", "You need to close up your legs in your stance to keep from being bit there." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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If you trade in stolen gate-posts, does that make you a fence? ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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As Reynoldo lit the votive candle at the grotto for San Jose de los Platanos, and prayed for the healthy delivery of his first child, he heard a disembodied voice say, "Your daughter will be born 17 inches long," To which Reynoldo replied, "Do you know the weight, too, San Jose? ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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I got sent a package the other day, but when it arrived it was all damp. I complained at the post office, and they said it must have had postage dew. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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Police are searching for a thief who robs his victims by threatening them with a lighted match. They want to catch him before he strikes again. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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They asked why I was moving to France, so I told them I had nothing Toulouse. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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When fishermen get too competitive, they start suffering from pier pressure. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Zinedine Zidane  Joined: 11/3/2009 Posts: 3,447 Location: always coasting..
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you've gotta get a life Kev...but you're keeping me laughing... like the Toulouse one 'specially...   ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hot Pies and Mustard
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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A blonde I know decided to have twelve clones made of herself. When she went to the clinic, she found it was a bleak brick house without any windows. When she asked the Clone Arranger why there were no windows, she was told that people in glass houses shouldn't grow clones. As the clones were growing up, she found she was never allowed to take them out for a walk, because "you'll never walk a clone". What disturbed her the most was that every time she would visit them, they all would be yelling at the top of their lungs. When she asked why they yelled so much she was told that this was to be expected as she had ordered a dozen I scream clones.  ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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A mother skunk gave birth to twins, whom she named In and Out. One day In was out, so she aked Out,"Out go out and find In, In's out and I want him in, I've been looking for In outside for ages, I can't find In, he is out so go out find In and bring him in." "What?" said Out. "In's out, so Out go out find In and bring him In, I've been looking for ages and can't find In, I want In in, Out go out and bring In in, if you can find him." So Out goes out to look for his brother In, and within seconds of leaving, he comes back with In in tow, and his mother asks "Out, how did you find In so quickly?" (here it comes....) "In stinkt." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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The jockey was riding the favourite at a race meeting, and was well ahead of the field. His horse rounded the final corner, when suddenly the jockey was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages. He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence. With great skill he managed to steer the horse to the front of the field once more when, on the run in, he was struck on the head by a bottle of sherry and a Christmas pudding. Thus distracted, he succeeded in coming only second. He immediately went to the race stewards to complain that he had been seriously hampered. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones. I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Steve Redgrave Joined: 1/12/2007 Posts: 8,177 Location: isle of man
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nivek48 wrote:For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones.
I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next.
probably something to butter you up with, wouldnt want to leave you sour. personally i would whip the lot of em, they make my blood curdle. .
Well behaved women do not make history
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Steve Redgrave Joined: 1/12/2007 Posts: 8,177 Location: isle of man
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The italian Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks in the country. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at a park, located just 30 miles outside of rome, caused soldiers at a nearby italian Army garrison to surrender to a coach full of german tourists. .
Well behaved women do not make history
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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Lay Low21 wrote:nivek48 wrote:For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones.
I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next.
probably something to butter you up with, wouldnt want to leave you sour. personally i would whip the lot of em, they make my blood curdle. I con-curd with your suggested action and we must give this our unfeta'd attention! ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Steve Redgrave Joined: 1/12/2007 Posts: 8,177 Location: isle of man
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nah fuck it, am just gonna have an ice cream, .
Well behaved women do not make history
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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Lay Low21 wrote:nah fuck it, am just gonna have an ice cream, yoghurt be joking? thought you would milk it some more? ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,228 Location: Dubbo NSW
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I bought a boomerang off a ghost the other day...that will come back to haunt me. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
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Steve Redgrave Joined: 1/12/2007 Posts: 8,177 Location: isle of man
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speaking of boomarangs, reminds me of the irish boomarangs, they never come/go back, they just sing alot, about doing so. .
Well behaved women do not make history
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