|
|
Alex Murphy  Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW  
|
I never wanted to believe that my Dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when i got home, all the signs were there. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier'n helpin' 'em move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load his crap into a truck. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I love trying to pack myself into a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
A mechanic was working late one night when a man walked into his shop. "Can you help me?" the man asked. "I think I am a moth." The mechanic replied, "I am a mechanic. You need a psychiatrist." "Yes, I know," replied the man. "Then why did you come here?" "Your light was on." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Zinedine Zidane  Joined: 11/3/2009 Posts: 3,439 Location: always coasting..
|
 yeah, pretty lame but I'm a sucker for a joke ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hot Pies and Mustard
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I was walking through the jungle and I saw a monkey with a tin opener. "You don't need that for bananas " I said. He replied " No it's for the custard." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...but she did. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador. "Really, ..." says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?" ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Handel has met up with Hinge and Bracket. They've formed the Doors. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Mal Meninga  Joined: 9/25/2005 Posts: 1,538 Location: Australia
|
How do you get 100 Pikachu's on a bus? Pokemon Didak Attack 
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Zinedine Zidane Joined: 11/3/2009 Posts: 3,439 Location: always coasting..
|
nivek48 wrote:My wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
cracked me up... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hot Pies and Mustard
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
My girlfriend's a porn star. Gee, she was mad when she found out  ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Mal Meninga Joined: 9/25/2005 Posts: 1,538 Location: Australia
|
What's the last thing tickle me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles. Didak Attack
|
|
|
Zinedine Zidane Joined: 11/3/2009 Posts: 3,439 Location: always coasting..
|
Keg wrote:What's the last thing tickle me elmo gets before he leaves the factory?
Two test tickles. never looked between his legs  ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hot Pies and Mustard
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I phoned the local gym and i asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, .................... so I pushed her over. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Zinedine Zidane Joined: 11/3/2009 Posts: 3,439 Location: always coasting..
|
 keep em coming ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Hot Pies and Mustard
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
A blind man takes his blow-up doll to a crowded beach. The lifeguard sees him and comes over. "You can't come here with a blow-up doll." "Shit," says the blind guy. "That means i've been fucking my rubber dinghy all winter." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said "We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre." ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
On my Census form there is a question "Do you have any dependants?" Apparently putting "Hundreds of Africans, Pakis, Somalians, single mums, Romanians, loafers, smack heads, and non-English speaking people" isn't the right answer. They've sent my form back! ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Prince William says he doesn't want the traditional fruit cake at his wedding. Prince Phillip says he doesn't give a toss, he's still going. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
Alex Murphy Joined: 11/4/2006 Posts: 4,203 Location: Dubbo NSW
|
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" ... and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It Completely spoiled our 10th anniversary. ^^^^^^^**************************^^^^^^^
Kochie, KT, Ken, KO ... getting it right! #weareportadelaide
|
|
|
|
Guest
|