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Wita
Phil Taylor
Joined: 21 May 2006
Posts: 2507
Location: Czech Republic
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:26 pm
Post subject: Bruce Bowen or Paris Hilton? :)
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Who's more despicable … Bruce Bowen or Paris Hilton?
By Patrick Hruby
Page 2
Catch Phrase
Bowen: Lets his feet do the talking … from underneath opposing jump shooters
Hilton: "That's hot"
Edge: Hilton. Broken ankle not as bad as a thicket of dead neurons.
Hey, How'd That Happen?
Bowen: A karate kick between your legs
Hilton: Fire in your crotch
Edge: Even. Some types of pain can't be quantified.
Talents Best Appreciated
Bowen: On film
Hilton: On film
Edge: Even. Use freeze-frame, super slo-mo to see the really nasty stuff.
Totally Redundant
Bowen: Finished second in voting for NBA Defensive Player of the Year for three straight seasons
Hilton: Has a full-time publicist. Seriously
Edge: Hilton. Heck, why not hire personal paparazzi as well?
Not As Dirty As
Bowen: The mid-'90s New York Knicks
Hilton: Lindsay Lohan
Edge: Bowen. Knicks did permanent damage to the NBA; Lohan only doing permanent damage to her nasal capillaries.
Did You Know?
Bowen: Averaged 16 ppg as a Cal State Fullerton senior
Hilton: Actually earned a GED
Edge: Bowen. Kevin Federline has a GED, too.
Oh, The Irony!
Bowen: Puts opponents on the line, but is a terrible foul shooter (.570 career percentage)
Hilton: Teamed with Puffy Combs in 2004 get-the-kids-out-to-vote drive; did not vote or even register herself
Edge: Hilton. "Teamed with Puffy Combs." 'Nuff said.
You CANNOT Be Serious
Bowen: A former teammate once told SI.com that "if anything, Bruce is too nice … there's not a dirty bone in his body"
Hilton: Told Regis that "one-night stands are not for me"
Edge: Even. Oh, and the Iraqis will greet us a liberators. For sure.
Unexpected Brilliance
Bowen: Hasn't missed a game since 2002
Hilton: Once observed that "only fat people drink Diet Coke"
Edge: Hilton. Sorry America, but she's right.
Dream On
Bowen: "Bruce Bowen: Come Fly With Me" opens in IMAX theaters
Hilton: "House of Wax II" green-lighted, Anthony Minghella to direct
Edge: Even. And thank goodness.
Nice Work If You Can Get It
Bowen: Earned $3.75 million this season to help send the Phoenix Suns packing
Hilton: According to Forbes, earned $15.5 million over the last three years
Edge: Even. When they win, we all lose.
Semi-Redeeming Qualities
Bowen: Nice guy off the court; can knock down the open trey
Hilton: Hasn't released follow-up album; doesn't own 24-hour cable network. Yet
Edge: Hilton. There's really no redeeming "Stars Are Blind."
Personal Kryptonite
Bowen: Creating a shot
Hilton: Sidekicks, storage locker fees, speed limits, showing up to court on time
Edge: Hilton. Note to self: When the judge is already ticked, do not be late to scheduled hearing.
Grace Under Pressure
Bowen: Doing an admirable job against ascending LeBron
Hilton: IT'S NOT RIGHT! MOMMY! WAAAAHHHH!
Edge: Bowen. Though "grace" is not a word usually associated with either person.
Someone Ask For A Recount
Bowen: Undrafted in 1993, the same year Acie Earl, Rex Walters and Geert Hammik were picked in the first round
Hilton: In 2006 AP poll, voted second worst celebrity role model, behind Britney Spears
Edge: Hilton. Where did the AP poll take place, Florida?
Suggested Birthday Gift
Bowen: A copy of "Edward Scissorhands"
Hilton: A "Monopoly" get-out-of-jail-free card
Edge: Hilton. Though she'd probably attempt to use the card.
FINAL SCORE
No contest, as Hilton drubs Bowen 8-3. Pity that Hilton's probation violation can't be punished with a life sentence. Is it too late to start up an online petition?
Patrick Hruby is a columnist for Page 2. Sound off to Page 2 here. |
Haha, I have nothing to do so I was going through ESPN and found this... I used a lot of dictionary, but I think it is worth reading it... some nice quotes... 
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gmoney
Dwight 'Superman' Howard
Joined: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 13771
Location: Vegas Baby!
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:28 pm
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_________________
I'm NOT politically correct,deal with it!
1 unit =$50
NCAA Season 46-41-2 +16.5 units
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Zayd
Zinedine Zidane
Joined: 06 Jul 2006
Posts: 3495
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Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 8:58 pm
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very good 
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Thumbboy
David Boon
Joined: 24 Sep 2005
Posts: 10582
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Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:41 pm
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this would be better as a Britney Spears vs Paris Hilton comparison
I think I heard on the radio today that Britney's gone off the rails again, and was out flashing her boobs in public or something like that 
lots of good role models out there at the moment, britney, paris, lindsay lohan 
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